Number 3. And a funny, for those who don't like to gift wrap...got this in an email:
GIFT WRAPPING AT THE FIRST CHRISTMAS
This is the time of year when we think back to the very first Christmas, when the Three Wise Men; Gaspar, Balthazar and Herb, went to see the baby Jesus and, according to the Book of Matthew, "presented unto Him gifts; gold, frankincense, and myrrh."
These are simple words but, if we analyze them carefully, we discover an important, yet often overlooked, theological fact: There is no mention of wrapping paper. If there had been wrapping paper, Matthew would have said so: "And lo, the gifts were inside 600 square cubits of paper. And the paper was festooned with pictures of Frosty the Snowman. And Joseph was going to throweth it away, but Mary saideth unto him, she saideth, 'Holdeth it! That is nice paper! Saveth it for next year!' And Joseph did rolleth his eyeballs. And the baby Jesus was more interested in the paper than the frankincense."
But these words do not appear in the Bible, which means that the very First Christmas gifts were NOT wrapped.
This is because the people giving those gifts had two important characteristics:
1. They were wise.
2. They were men.
Men are not big gift wrappers. Men do not understand the point of putting paper on a gift just so somebody else can tear it off. This is not just my opinion: This is a scientific fact based on a statistical survey of two guys I know.
One is Rob, who said the only time he ever wraps a gift is "if it's such a poor gift that I don't want to be there when the person opens it."
The other is Gene, who told me he does wrap gifts, but as a matter of principle never takes more than 15 seconds per gift. "No one ever had to wonder which presents daddy wrapped at Christmas," Gene said. "They were the ones that looked like enormous spitballs." I also wrap gifts but, because of some defect in my motor skills, I can never completely wrap them. I can take a gift the size of a deck of cards and put it the exact center of a piece of wrapping paper the size of a regulation volleyball court but, when I am done folding and taping, you can still see a sector of the gift peeking out. (Sometimes I camouflage this sector with a marking pen.) If I had been an ancient Egyptian in the field of mummies, the lower half of the Pharaoh's body would be covered only by Scotch tape.
On the other hand, if you give my wife a 12-inch square of wrapping paper, she can wrap a C-130 cargo plane. My wife, like many women, actually likes wrapping things. If she gives you a gift that requires batteries, she wraps the batteries separately, which to me is very close to being a symptom of mental illness. If it were possible, my wife would wrap each individual volt.
My point is that gift wrapping is one of those skills like having babies that come more naturally to women than to men. That is why, today, I am presenting:
GIFT WRAPPING TIPS FOR MEN:
* Whenever possible, buy gifts that are already wrapped. If, when the recipient opens the gift, neither one of you recognizes it, you can claim that it's myrrh.
* The editors of Woman's Day magazine recently ran an item on how to make your own wrapping paper by printing a design on it with an apple sliced in half horizontally and dipped in a mixture of food coloring and liquid starch. They must be smoking crack.
* If you're giving a hard-to-wrap gift, skip the wrapping paper! Just put it inside a bag and stick one of those little adhesive bows on it. This creates a festive visual effect that is sure to delight the lucky recipient on Christmas morning:
YOUR WIFE: "Why is there a Hefty trash bag under the tree?"
YOU: "It's a gift! See? It has a bow!"
YOUR "WIFE (peering into the trash bag): It's a leaf blower."
YOU: "Gas-powered! Five horsepower!"
YOUR WIFE: "I want a divorce."
YOU: "I also got you some myrrh."
In conclusion, remember that the important thing is not what you give, or how you wrap it. The important thing, during this very special time of year, is that you save the receipt.
~Male Author Unknown~
GIFT WRAPPING AT THE FIRST CHRISTMAS
This is the time of year when we think back to the very first Christmas, when the Three Wise Men; Gaspar, Balthazar and Herb, went to see the baby Jesus and, according to the Book of Matthew, "presented unto Him gifts; gold, frankincense, and myrrh."
These are simple words but, if we analyze them carefully, we discover an important, yet often overlooked, theological fact: There is no mention of wrapping paper. If there had been wrapping paper, Matthew would have said so: "And lo, the gifts were inside 600 square cubits of paper. And the paper was festooned with pictures of Frosty the Snowman. And Joseph was going to throweth it away, but Mary saideth unto him, she saideth, 'Holdeth it! That is nice paper! Saveth it for next year!' And Joseph did rolleth his eyeballs. And the baby Jesus was more interested in the paper than the frankincense."
But these words do not appear in the Bible, which means that the very First Christmas gifts were NOT wrapped.
This is because the people giving those gifts had two important characteristics:
1. They were wise.
2. They were men.
Men are not big gift wrappers. Men do not understand the point of putting paper on a gift just so somebody else can tear it off. This is not just my opinion: This is a scientific fact based on a statistical survey of two guys I know.
One is Rob, who said the only time he ever wraps a gift is "if it's such a poor gift that I don't want to be there when the person opens it."
The other is Gene, who told me he does wrap gifts, but as a matter of principle never takes more than 15 seconds per gift. "No one ever had to wonder which presents daddy wrapped at Christmas," Gene said. "They were the ones that looked like enormous spitballs." I also wrap gifts but, because of some defect in my motor skills, I can never completely wrap them. I can take a gift the size of a deck of cards and put it the exact center of a piece of wrapping paper the size of a regulation volleyball court but, when I am done folding and taping, you can still see a sector of the gift peeking out. (Sometimes I camouflage this sector with a marking pen.) If I had been an ancient Egyptian in the field of mummies, the lower half of the Pharaoh's body would be covered only by Scotch tape.
On the other hand, if you give my wife a 12-inch square of wrapping paper, she can wrap a C-130 cargo plane. My wife, like many women, actually likes wrapping things. If she gives you a gift that requires batteries, she wraps the batteries separately, which to me is very close to being a symptom of mental illness. If it were possible, my wife would wrap each individual volt.
My point is that gift wrapping is one of those skills like having babies that come more naturally to women than to men. That is why, today, I am presenting:
GIFT WRAPPING TIPS FOR MEN:
* Whenever possible, buy gifts that are already wrapped. If, when the recipient opens the gift, neither one of you recognizes it, you can claim that it's myrrh.
* The editors of Woman's Day magazine recently ran an item on how to make your own wrapping paper by printing a design on it with an apple sliced in half horizontally and dipped in a mixture of food coloring and liquid starch. They must be smoking crack.
* If you're giving a hard-to-wrap gift, skip the wrapping paper! Just put it inside a bag and stick one of those little adhesive bows on it. This creates a festive visual effect that is sure to delight the lucky recipient on Christmas morning:
YOUR WIFE: "Why is there a Hefty trash bag under the tree?"
YOU: "It's a gift! See? It has a bow!"
YOUR "WIFE (peering into the trash bag): It's a leaf blower."
YOU: "Gas-powered! Five horsepower!"
YOUR WIFE: "I want a divorce."
YOU: "I also got you some myrrh."
In conclusion, remember that the important thing is not what you give, or how you wrap it. The important thing, during this very special time of year, is that you save the receipt.
~Male Author Unknown~
alucard0848 wrote:the last things i have to get is jewelery and i played that cleverly i told her i need something for my mom and a relative and i dont know what to get cause i dont buy jewelry so i told look through the zales book and mark stuff that u wish u could buy. so i have to choose 2 things maybe 3
(well zales did give me a nice credit limit lol tempted to buy everything she marked) besides that she wants a nano and im following that up at the nearest 3 bestbuys told me to check back early in morning to see if any new ones came in,black eyed peas cd(she likes the hump song lol)
and im gonna go buy the flower antique looking trunk as the gift holder.
so far i got her a dolce&gabban hat, peanut butter splurge chocolate,bobby brown fragrence and bath beach set, another bath set but i only got cause itsin ceramic angel holder that matches a statue
in her apartment building
i think im gonnna go with either white roses or kalalillies to put on the bow on top or inside lying ontop of everything thats on the top
Dude, I hope I'm wrong... You're giving all of this stuff to a *friend*? That's the amount of stuff I buy for my wife! I don't know this girl and I don't know you, but that won't stop me from offering completely unsolicited advice that is probably useless because I feel so empowered by the interenet and judgemental due to my own narcissism. So, that being said, I think you're making a gigantic mistake that in time you will come to regret. If she only likes you as a friend she is sure to feel completely and totally humiliated by the level of the gifts you are bestowing on her. There's no way she's going to be able to reciprocate. Any one of the items you describe would be a nice gift in and of itself. But, you drop several hundred dollars worth of stuff on her and she's gonna be overwhelmed. And not in a good way! If any of my friends, gave me stuff like that I'd be very embarassed and uncomfortable.
Now, we can all say that it's just nice to give gifts and there's no strings attached but that's not the way it is. When people give us gifts we feel obligated to return the gesture. Girls know that when they are given gifts that it means something. If you handed her, say, just the Nano. Or just the hat, she already knows you mean business. If you hand her all that stuff it says, "I'm completely obsessed and besotted with you. I want to cherish you all the days of my life. Have you seen the shrine I built in your honor?" If she's just your friend then you run a huge risk that she's going to run, not walk, in the other direction.
Or, I could just fuck off.
Looping green and blue, and you will go letting yourself certainly the meal once again through the head. But after the departure, you feel free and happily like after your first orgasm - and you will beg for addition. - German review of SYL's "Alien"
well cant get the nano anyway, im not really spending to much money not everything i got was expensive and the job i worked at had 60% off org ticketed price and a few things from walmart and local craft store so i only spent under $280
the jewelry is only $100 dollars
gonna put the jewlery,bath set,hat,chocolates/datebook in the chest(chest
costed nothing if does not work i got nice crodile skin looking gift box that loks neat which i took from my job no charge as backup.) wrap a bow and thats it. im not expecting a gift back or want one and will state that in the card, i did cause i wanted to, she has been through alot and it seems things keep getting worse. if she doesnt get that i like her and be friends,cool. i can wait i waited for someone for 6 yrs before and i told her how i feel and she knew before i told her how i felt. and that someone
did for 6 yr s is play with my emotions. and im still friends online but she kinda complains she alone doesnt have anyone blah blah and so forth, u know her loss. im trying a different approach with these lovely girl. 2 reasons im doing it is cause i care about her and cause she deserves it for all the horrible crap thats been happening to her and to break this repeated rows of black clouds that hover even for a bit. plus ididnt get anything for her bday or her religious holiday so im making it up for both and this upcoming holiday. maybe im to nice ya i am. but i dont expect anything in return unless she insists then maybe just to got the movies on nice sunday would be fine.
the jewelry is only $100 dollars
gonna put the jewlery,bath set,hat,chocolates/datebook in the chest(chest
costed nothing if does not work i got nice crodile skin looking gift box that loks neat which i took from my job no charge as backup.) wrap a bow and thats it. im not expecting a gift back or want one and will state that in the card, i did cause i wanted to, she has been through alot and it seems things keep getting worse. if she doesnt get that i like her and be friends,cool. i can wait i waited for someone for 6 yrs before and i told her how i feel and she knew before i told her how i felt. and that someone
did for 6 yr s is play with my emotions. and im still friends online but she kinda complains she alone doesnt have anyone blah blah and so forth, u know her loss. im trying a different approach with these lovely girl. 2 reasons im doing it is cause i care about her and cause she deserves it for all the horrible crap thats been happening to her and to break this repeated rows of black clouds that hover even for a bit. plus ididnt get anything for her bday or her religious holiday so im making it up for both and this upcoming holiday. maybe im to nice ya i am. but i dont expect anything in return unless she insists then maybe just to got the movies on nice sunday would be fine.
alucard0848 wrote:<snip>2 reasons im doing it is cause i care about her and cause she deserves it for all the horrible crap thats been happening to her and to break this repeated rows of black clouds that hover even for a bit. plus ididnt get anything for her bday or her religious holiday so im making it up for both and this upcoming holiday. maybe im to nice ya i am. but i dont expect anything in return unless she insists then maybe just to got the movies on nice sunday would be fine.
Right on, then. Good luck and let us know how it all turns out. I wish you both a very Merry Christmas!
Looping green and blue, and you will go letting yourself certainly the meal once again through the head. But after the departure, you feel free and happily like after your first orgasm - and you will beg for addition. - German review of SYL's "Alien"
alucard0848 wrote:so i only spent under $280
the jewelry is only $100 dollars
If you don't get her, I'll be your girlfriend!
I still think that's a hell of a lot of money. When I buy gifts, I'm thinking 10% of what you spend is a lot already.
You say you're not expecting anything in return. But that's not going to stop her from feeling guilty for not being able to give something (this big) in return, I'm affraid.
Make sure you really tell her why you're giving this much (the "going through a lot" part), make sure she understands or it might get awkward as Gurp said.
Anyway, make her feel special, good luck and keep us posted!
Biert Is Extraordinarily Rad & Terrific
Twitter.com/Biert | D* | Proud member of the VVV
"It's the unicorns paparazzi. They have finally found you and are coming to take you home, prince Biert." -- Faffy
Twitter.com/Biert | D* | Proud member of the VVV
"It's the unicorns paparazzi. They have finally found you and are coming to take you home, prince Biert." -- Faffy
you'd think after a few years of evolution a lass wouldnt fall for material things
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