Deep blue sea... hum... yeah ?
Posted: Sun Jun 25, 2006 5:22 pmOk, I know I should concentrate on positive things, but I have to vent my... duh... indignation ?
So I've just watch that crap on TV tonight. I saw it comin' but there was storm earlier in the evening so I was lazy starting the computer again.
Well, I think it takes a place in my top 3 shitty movies.
SPOILER : This movie sucks !
What was that ? It's all stupid, the only cool moment being Samuel L. Jackson being eaten when you don't expect it, the whole scene being a cheap CG animation. Is it on this board that I've seen someone saying that he follows a rule of making a bad movie for every good movie ?
I guess this one is the yang to the yin that is Pulp Fiction (can't remember other movie with him
my memory sucks about movies & books, exept when I've seen/read 'em 20 times).
Or maybe he felt the movie was so bad that he asked to die faster than planed at first.
So basically you've got a reasearch lab' in the middle of the ocean. So any supertanker that loses its way in a tempest may hit it and provoc an oil spills. Pretty smart. Also you'd expect this laboratory to have a sort of structure similar to an oil platform, but no, it's just slightly on surface, so if a tempest approaches, everything's beaten by the waves. Of course there's a tempest in the movie.
Then a stupid scientist is beaten by a shark, so they call a copter (they don't have an emergency team or whatever...).
So the ugly CG copter comes. But it can't even land on that stupid structure...
So they hang the guy on his stretcher to the copter's winch. But it overheats and get loose. The poor guy falls in the water but he's still attached to the cable. Then the shark takes the guy in his mouth and starts draging the whole thing, stretcher + copter, you'd think the morons in the copter would cut the cable, but no. The shark drags them and they crash in the only over-water part of the lab that is higher than 3 meters.
It causes an enormous explosion that affects the WHOLE structure, over and under the sea-level, lot of water seeping in various parts of the structure.
A bit later they're in the main lab room again. It's big and has a arge window. You expect this window to break and the water to seep into the basement ? Well that's what happens, the shark throws the poor guy still strapped on his stretcher in the window (the shark is smarter than the copter's morons as he cuts the cable, cuz' that's the point of the movie, some biologically modified shark that are smarter than normal), and the window starts to crack.
You'd expect such a window to be at least 10cm thick or something, but no, just a stretcher with a dead guy on it can break it.
Then they're stuck in the under-water lab that may break because of water pressure and blah... it's all stupid like that all the way, with some lame "humorous" lines from time to time. It would've been better if everyone died, sharks included, so there would be no point in the movie at all. Well there's no point in this movie, but 2 guys survive (the blond swimmer guy and the black cook guy (I'm reading imdb at the same time and it looks like this is LL Cool J)).
When raeching the end of the movie, you "discover" the plot : the smart sharks were fooling the stupid-human-beings to sink the lab, so they could be free by breaking the over-water barrier, weaker than the under-water one made of titanium. Yup'.
I mean, I once saw Carnosaure, I expected it to be cheesy and bad, and it was. But from a movie shot in 1999 ? You'd at least expect the producer not to think they can make a fool of you so naivelly. I call that swindle personnally.
Ok maybe the CG was not so bad back in 1999, but it gets 5.5 out of ten on Imdb ?! I give it 0, or maybe 1 for Samuel L. Jackson being eaten so brutally.
With such crap, no wonder people are downloading movies, it's not worth 5$, or less.
So I've just watch that crap on TV tonight. I saw it comin' but there was storm earlier in the evening so I was lazy starting the computer again.
Well, I think it takes a place in my top 3 shitty movies.
SPOILER : This movie sucks !
What was that ? It's all stupid, the only cool moment being Samuel L. Jackson being eaten when you don't expect it, the whole scene being a cheap CG animation. Is it on this board that I've seen someone saying that he follows a rule of making a bad movie for every good movie ?
I guess this one is the yang to the yin that is Pulp Fiction (can't remember other movie with him
my memory sucks about movies & books, exept when I've seen/read 'em 20 times).
Or maybe he felt the movie was so bad that he asked to die faster than planed at first.
So basically you've got a reasearch lab' in the middle of the ocean. So any supertanker that loses its way in a tempest may hit it and provoc an oil spills. Pretty smart. Also you'd expect this laboratory to have a sort of structure similar to an oil platform, but no, it's just slightly on surface, so if a tempest approaches, everything's beaten by the waves. Of course there's a tempest in the movie.
Then a stupid scientist is beaten by a shark, so they call a copter (they don't have an emergency team or whatever...).
So the ugly CG copter comes. But it can't even land on that stupid structure...
So they hang the guy on his stretcher to the copter's winch. But it overheats and get loose. The poor guy falls in the water but he's still attached to the cable. Then the shark takes the guy in his mouth and starts draging the whole thing, stretcher + copter, you'd think the morons in the copter would cut the cable, but no. The shark drags them and they crash in the only over-water part of the lab that is higher than 3 meters.
It causes an enormous explosion that affects the WHOLE structure, over and under the sea-level, lot of water seeping in various parts of the structure.
A bit later they're in the main lab room again. It's big and has a arge window. You expect this window to break and the water to seep into the basement ? Well that's what happens, the shark throws the poor guy still strapped on his stretcher in the window (the shark is smarter than the copter's morons as he cuts the cable, cuz' that's the point of the movie, some biologically modified shark that are smarter than normal), and the window starts to crack.
You'd expect such a window to be at least 10cm thick or something, but no, just a stretcher with a dead guy on it can break it.
Then they're stuck in the under-water lab that may break because of water pressure and blah... it's all stupid like that all the way, with some lame "humorous" lines from time to time. It would've been better if everyone died, sharks included, so there would be no point in the movie at all. Well there's no point in this movie, but 2 guys survive (the blond swimmer guy and the black cook guy (I'm reading imdb at the same time and it looks like this is LL Cool J)).
When raeching the end of the movie, you "discover" the plot : the smart sharks were fooling the stupid-human-beings to sink the lab, so they could be free by breaking the over-water barrier, weaker than the under-water one made of titanium. Yup'.
I mean, I once saw Carnosaure, I expected it to be cheesy and bad, and it was. But from a movie shot in 1999 ? You'd at least expect the producer not to think they can make a fool of you so naivelly. I call that swindle personnally.
Ok maybe the CG was not so bad back in 1999, but it gets 5.5 out of ten on Imdb ?! I give it 0, or maybe 1 for Samuel L. Jackson being eaten so brutally.
With such crap, no wonder people are downloading movies, it's not worth 5$, or less.
Would you be prepared to watch one bad movie and week and post your review/synopsis? Seriously.