anti-jokes
Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 3:25 pma freind of mine posted these on another forum they tend to divide opinion (i personally find them hilarious)
Man: Doctor, I've broken my leg.
Doctor: I'm afraid it is a very bad break. You will never walk properly again.
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Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband has been killed.
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A man walks into a pub.
He is an alcoholic whose drink problem is destroying his family.
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Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge?
She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.
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What do you call a cat with no tail?
A Manx cat.
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Why do undertakers wear ties?
Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.
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How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
One.
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Why do women fake orgasms?
Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.
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Two men are sitting in a pub.
One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.'
The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidise her drug habit
Man: Doctor, I've broken my leg.
Doctor: I'm afraid it is a very bad break. You will never walk properly again.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband has been killed.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
A man walks into a pub.
He is an alcoholic whose drink problem is destroying his family.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge?
She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
What do you call a cat with no tail?
A Manx cat.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do undertakers wear ties?
Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
One.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do women fake orgasms?
Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Two men are sitting in a pub.
One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.'
The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidise her drug habit
